After a small break, we are back with a new article. And since this is now the Holiday Season, I will share my sincere Holiday Wish for you, our readers and non-readers alike.

My first wish goes out to every one of us at National Coalition For Men. We all work tirelessly and without pay to support our men and boys. Harry Crouch, our President, is an amazing leader and one of the kindest men I have ever known. Everyone at NCFM is so kind and compassionate and purpose driven! My wish is that each of you be given peace beyond imagination, as well as some relaxing time to spend with your loved ones. We all deserve it!

My second wish goes out to all those involved with our chapter—NCFM Women Against False Accusations. We are so blessed to have each of you with us! It’s been heart breaking hearing your stories. The struggles you’ve overcome and the new struggles you’re facing all touch our hearts. We are all with you! My wish for you is to be given comfort to help fill the pain in your hearts. The Holidays are traditionally shared with family, and I know so many of you, including myself, that will not have that loved one with you. There are so many of you with your own unique stressful situations. Please know that it won’t always be this way. You are genuinely loved, and you are not alone! Thanks to each of you, we are now an official chapter of NCFM. Look out 2022, here we come!

My third wish goes out to you, the reader. Your heart is filled with love if you have read this far. Fairness and justice lead you on your journey through life, and you are the one seeking to learn and find solutions for our men’s issues. My wish for you is that you be filled with fiery passion to explore the issues of false accusations of sexual assault facing our men and boys. At NCFM, we have been raising awareness of men’s issues since 1977. We need more people like you willing to see beyond the narrative, search for facts, and work for change. Please consider joining NCFM, as well as joining our chapter. Our men and boys need you!

My fourth wish goes out to the ones not yet able to see this article. My wish for you is that when this article pops up in your google search that you take some time to really digest the information. In today’s divisive environment and certainly one filled with attention-grabbing headlines designed to keep us from the truth, your eyes are needed. It is you that will help us turn the focus to the genuine issues going on with our men and boys. Our men and boys have been placed in the dark for way too long. It is well beyond time for America to return to treating our men as humans with hearts. It’s time for America to stop the war against our men and boys!

My fifth wish goes out to you, the false accuser. If you have read this far, please continue to read with the purpose of seeing our side. Each of those that you have falsely accused has tremendous strength, resilience, and support. We are all mourning our own situations and are appealing to you to come forward with the truth. So many lives have been broken. So many live in a world of hurt because of your deceitful lies. So many march to an early grave because of the heavy stress load, and so many are innocently locked up in a nightmare, both metaphorically and physically. My wish for you is that God softens your heart and encourages you to bring out the truth. If not, my wish is that you find a way to heal which will help prevent further damage to others. We will no longer be scared into silence. We ask you to give up the fight and wave the surrender flag!

My final wish is for America. I wish for every American to open their eyes and hearts to the significant issues we have going on in America. We have left our men and boys behind. See our NCFM-Carolina’s article on “For Every 100 Girls”, here. We have created a toxic feminism movement which, in my lifetime, will be the final wave. Our justice system has been infiltrated by corrupt individuals seeking nothing more than a victory and an avenue with which to build up their net worth. To push back on the falsified and publicly pushed narrative, I will say that our women are not the only victims of rape, domestic violence and abuse. Our men and boys are victims, too. My wish is that each American rise and demand that VAWA be reversed or at least be changed to the Violence Against People Act. We must become a nation that stands together for the good of our men, children, and women.

Post Article Notes

While the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was designed to help victims come forward, it unintentionally created a way to wrongfully convict our innocent men. False accusations of sexual assault and abuse are real and quite common. From the moment a false accusation is uttered, a man’s life begins to decay. In epic proportions, our men are losing their constitutional rights to due process. They are labeled guilty and forced to prove their innocence. Additionally, toxic women are finding it easier to make false accusations which result in fathers losing their children and innocent men being sent to prison. With high stakes, indecent attorneys have found a way to make an easy buck; and some self-centered prosecutors, judges, and investigators have found a way to use the system in pursuit of their own self-interest. Falsely accusing our men and sending innocent men to prison must and will stop!

Why were Men and Children left out of the Office’s title in 1994?

• Unwanted Sexual Contact is Similar between Men and Women. Children are victimized greater than both. Please keep in mind that statistics are not exact as men and boys are less likely to report the assaults.
• In 2011, the CDC reported results from NISVS (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence) which found that both men and women have the same prevalence of non-consensual sex (1.270 million women and 1.267 million men) and unwanted sexual contact (2.565 million men and 2.600 million women).
• Lara Stemple, JD, and Ilan Meyer PhD researched and published “The Sexual Victimization of Men in America: New Data Challenge Old Assumptions”, which clearly proves that men are victims of sexual assault, too!
• The first voting to enact the Violence Against Women Act in 1994 was noted as bipartisan but was it really? More Democrats voted “No” than Republicans Voted “Yes”. This is the original voting record on Aug. 21, 1994. Those who voted “No” must have clearly understood the disasters that lie ahead.
  • Democrats     188 Yes       64 No       4 No Vote
  • Republicans     46 Yes     131 No       1 No Vote
• I attended two Zoom Conferral calls in Q4, 2021 (conferral meetings are required by VAWA every 2 years). Marnie Shiels, the moderator, rather rudely rolled her eyes at me when I raised the issue of false accusations. She then quickly tried to minimize the issue by asking me why would women go through all of that just to falsely claim rape. Several members of the audience then followed up in support by saying that it was only 2-8%. Finally, I was cut off and Kimberly Lonsway of EVAWI was allowed to speak about the uncommon issue of false accusations. When the mandatory summary of the conferral sessions are published, I will check to see if our concern about false accusations was addressed.

We were warned about the rise in False Accusations against our Men.

• Phyllis Schlafly, JD. “VAWA’s gender-specific title is pejorative: it’s based on the false, unscientific, unjust, and blatantly offensive premise that men are innately violent and…women [are] victims. VAWA encourages women to make false allegations, and then petition for full child custody and a denial of all fathers’ rights to see their own children…” “VAWA uses a definition of domestic violence that blurs the difference between violent action and run-of-the-mill marital tiffs and arguments. It’s time to stop VAWA from spending any more taxpayers’ money to promote family dissolution and fatherless children.” July 20, 2005, Is VAWA a good law?
• Wendy McElroy, research fellow at the Independent Institute. “VAWA has become a flashpoint for the men’s rights advocates who see it instead as the living symbol of anti-male bias in law. Although a considerable number of domestic violence victims are male, VAWA defines victims as female. By omitting male victims from their efforts, activists create the impression of a national epidemic that uniquely victimizes women who require unique protection. I believe VAWA is not only ideologically inspired and discriminatory, but also an example of why bureaucracy-driven solutions to human problems do not work.” June 20, 2005. Is VAWA a good law?
• Cathy Young, columnist for the Boston Globe and Reason. “Under VAWA, nearly all rapes and spousal assaults are presumed, by definition, to be ‘gender-motivated.’ One reason orthodox feminist saw VAWA as a major achievement was that it endorsed a key tenet of their creed: that male violence against women is a form of collective political terrorism, both an expression of woman-hating and a deliberate strategy to perpetuate patriarchal dominance…” “It’s a message that combines the traditional paternalistic belief that women deserve special protection from harm with the feminist fictions of a male ‘war against women,’ pitting the sexes against each other instead of treating offenders and victims as individuals.” May 19, 2000. Is VAWA a good law?
• Janice Shaw Crouse, “The Violence Against Women Act Should Outrage Decent People”. VAWA is a “boondoggle which ends up creating a suspicion where all men are feared or viewed as violent, and women are viewed as victims.” The Act created a “climate of false accusations, rush to judgment and hidden agendas”. U.S. News, March 19, 2012

VAWA grant money is used to re-train Law Enforcement officers to “believe women” and engage men and boys to support female victims.

• According to the 2019 IRS Form 990, “End Violence Against Women International” received $1,329,708 in federal grants of which $154,960 went to CEO Joanne Archambault (retired San Diego Sergeant, Sex Crimes Unit), $123,293 to Kimberly Lonsway, PhD (paid researcher of sexual assault) and $632,231 for other wages/salaries, pension/401(k), and employee benefits. They offer free online training to law enforcement professionals which are biased and based on non-scientific investigative strategies; such as, how to write reports that successfully support the prosecution, how law enforcement should work together with victim advocates (think oil and water), and how to rethink “red flags” as signs of trauma (think black box created evidence and Brady violations). Trauma informed/victim centered strategies should be left to the counseling professionals and not mixed in with scientifically based investigations.
• According to the VAWA 2018 Biennial Report, grant money was given to organizations that served more women (81%, 19% men) who were white (73%). Where are the resources for our men and people of color?
• VAWA also encourages Men and Boys to ignore their own bodies and instead become allies to support female victims. $8,233,967 was granted to 19 organizations devoted to engaging men and boys as allies for females. In 2019, a total of $462,064,610 was granted to 754 organizations, most of which supports women. Remember, our men and boys are victims too yet there is not one single grant offered from VAWA that educates women to become allies for our male victims.
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President of NCFM – Women Against False Accusations, Lori DeBolt, My Holiday Wish for You!